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One More Time!

I’ve learned an important lesson. If you don’t learn a lesson the first time you’ll somehow wind up in a similar situation where you have to try and learn it again!

I eluded in earlier writings that in college I changed my major from Chemistry to Religious Studies kind of late in the game. I pursued chemistry for a few reasons like I was good at it, there is a prestige tied to the sciences, I had family approval for choosing that route. But I really didn’t love it. It took me till my senior year to admit to myself that I hated going to labs and that I couldn’t envision my life after college doing that. I’d hate doing that! Not to say that it’s bad by any means but I just had no passion for it. I switched to Religious Studies because I truly loved studying different philosophies and faiths and paths. The lesson was do what you love, I even had a guy named TJ from San Diego teach me that (reference earlier post).

Now after college I didn’t do anything related to that, I went into retail management for a few years and then distribution operations for another four years. But inside, I still had this longing for something more. By year four of distribution operations I hit a wall. I didn’t love what I did, I didn’t operate in the same style as the organization did and I found I was living my life too far apart from what I really was. I unfortunately found myself lost an unsure of what to do. After seven years of not doing what I loved I felt like my internal compass was just spinning, not giving me clarity or direction.

Then I started doing some work with UWM School of Continuing Education about 3 months after I left my last position. I was involved in things I DID love doing and enjoyed learning. My experiences there have reminded me of what I do love and solidified the direction I needed to take my life in. Lesson again, do what you love.

Now since I kind of “fell asleep again” I wound up not living the lesson I learned years back. But life has a way of stacking the deck to give you the same lesson if you didn’t get it the first time. It would have been easier to continue on what I learned in college but oh well. I got it this time and along the way have found some amazing teachers and mentors to help guide me to the next steps.

Just remember, try and get it the first time so you don’t have to do a rerun!

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Information Addiction

Technology can be a wonderful thing but if used improperly it can be a real headache. I love the internet as a tool for finding things or executing things (shopping, etc) but I’ve found an interesting thing going on with me lately. I seem to be addicted to new information.

I’ve got a few different e-mails going which I use for different things. One for bills, one for blogs, one for some of my UWM and social things. I have an iPod Touch which can check all of them and give me an indicator for when new mails come up, this is nice so that I don’t lose track of them. I’m also on Facebook and I have a Myspace account which I really don’t use anymore. Grudgingly I have a Twitter account which I only have because so many people use it, although I don’t see the value in the concept and I don’t think Twitter will be much of anything in a year and a half. But it apparently helps my Google score.

So I have these things which can connect me to other people and businesses which is nice. But I recently found myself constantly checking for updates on these things. Now again, my iPod Touch is nice because there’s an app for pretty much all of this so I can have easy updates. But I’m constantly checking this thing. Then I’ll flip open the laptop and start doing Wikipedia searches and Googling information on actors and authors and other fun stuff. I unfortunately found myself doing way too much time on Mafia Wars, the Facebook game and then it kind of hit me how much time I’m spending looking for things.

I really spend a lot of time looking for things online. I know, it’s ironic that I’m blogging about it now and that’s adding time to my digital wasteland but I actually decided today to limit how much I was doing. No waking up and flipping on the laptop, do things later. No Mafia Wars today, no stupid videos on ebaumsworld.com or YouTube. I was just fine and actually got way more done today than I thought I would.

This makes me wonder, what is prompting my excessive time in cyberspace? This craving for information seems to draw me away from other things so maybe I’m stressed and this is an escape. I have had a lot going on lately with job interviews, volunteer efforts, new baby, and other projects on the horizon. I also haven’t had a lot of social time so maybe I’m lacking in the decompression.

Whatever it is I see it going on and recognize that there are many forms of escapism. Some people turn on the TV and watch the flickering images for a couple hours and don’t think about daily life. Others bury themselves in video games. This is a newer form of digital escapism, I just read an article on CNN.com the other day which found a correlation between depression and excessive video game usage. Well I think I may be using kilobytes as my escapism so this is a nice indicator that I probably need to slow down a bit and decompress.

I should probably clarify, I have stress in my life but it’s not actually negative things. A new baby is a great thing, my volunteer efforts are opening doors faster than I can see, and the job searching and interviewing is teaching me so many things about my career path. I’m very happy all these opportunities are presenting themselves, I just need to remember that I have limited energy and can’t do everything. So maybe I need to kill a bit of the data intake and work on some energy restoration. I have an great book I’m halfway through, I should finish that. I should work on my QiQong breathing more as well as try more of the Tai Chi workouts on my DVD. There are things which would bring me far more benefit than knowing more about Frank Welker’s voice over career.

So I guess I put this out there to say that I just had an Ah-Ha moment where I realized I had way too much data time and that maybe I need to focus my time/energy on some other things. I’m glad I recognized it when I did. Now I challenge you, are you doing anything that is escapist? Is there anything that may be pulling you away from something important going on? It’s kind of strange how it creeps up on you. How many trees have buds on them right now? There’s a Zen exercise for you 🙂

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Career Transition

I wanted to take time to write a brief story about my career transition and the value in it. I can tell many people are in a position where they either want to do something else with their professional life or don’t know what to do with it and I want people to know that there are answers. I’ve been exploring this area for about 9 months now and need to share some of my experience.

Let me go back to my college days because a pattern started here. When I started as a freshman in college I was a commuter student at the UW-Center in Waukesha county. As a totally mature 18 year old I felt that upon graduating high school meant that the fun times were over and it was time to buckle down and get my education and job on track. This was me being very idealistic because I had so many lessons to learn if I would pay attention!! My first semester I felt like I wanted to explore Sociology, Psychology or Chemistry. I was strong in those areas in high school and knew I had potential. I did well in all of those my first year but was particularly strong in Chemistry. I was asked to be a group study leader for intro Chemistry because of my understanding and ability to communicate. I became a chemistry major by my second year and then transferred to Carroll College in Waukesha for my third year of college. Although when I got there, things seemed to change for me.

First off, things were taught very differently at an independent liberal arts college verses a state university. I didn’t like how they did labs and how the curriculum was delivered. I didn’t feel the need to tutor or desire to help out in the department because I wasn’t happy with current situation(indicator 1). As part of my general educational requirements I needed to take a philosophy class or religion class so I took my first religious studies class. Surprisingly I liked it and excelled. I had avoided that subject but when I tried it out it really lit the fires of passion to study. There’s far more to this story but I’ll summarize by saying that I then became a double major in Chemistry and Religious Studies and then later dropped the Chemistry major all together because I wasn’t going to use it and wanted to put more time into a degree I felt passionate about. (indicator 2)

Upon graduation I needed a break from academia and decided to go into retail management for the company I worked for. I ran a Starbucks for a few years while I took time to figure out where to take my studies. Unfortunately I was beginning to get lost in the corporate environment and a new career goal of climbing the ladder began to emerge. I showed promise in my leadership ability and then took a position at Target corp. in their distribution area. With more money and promises of professional development I let go of my passion for study and tried to offer my ability and style to the corporate world. The more I did this the more lost I felt (indicator 3) and unfortunately unclear I became about what to do for the future. I knew I had to make a change but had no clue how.

After about 3 years of distribution operations I found myself at the end of my driveway with this feeling of change. I felt a necessary message come to me that said “you can change now if you want to” and after sitting in silence (nothing happens in my subdivision at 4AM mind you) I said “Alright God/universe, I’m ready for a change. I don’t know how or what it’s going to look like and I know it’s going to be painful but I’m ready, bring it on!”

6 months later I started some counseling which really helped break loose some of my inner self and then 3 months after that I did some career coaching. The career coaching consisted of self assessments (MBTI, skills and values inventories, 360 feedback profiles), research and self reflection. In all of this professional help I decided to seek out I was able to break through the veils I put on myself of what my career should look like. I was able to look at myself more authentically and understand that I was trying to fit myself into something that I wasn’t. I made the decision to leave my position with Target to pursue my career path. I had savings built up to help cushion this transition and decided to take the leap.

Now I did this in September of ’09 which is significant. First off it is the worst economy in a couple decades. Second, I had a little one on the way. Third I had no job lined up. But there was something very powerful within myself that told me to “strike” and I knew I needed to take control of my life and make a change. Since then I’ve done some work at UWM School of Continuing Education and been able to gain experience as an Intake Coordinator. I’ve met some amazing individuals who have done their own businesses and made changes of their own. I learned what a difference a work environment can make and that I am better suited in some environments rather than others. I’ve also learned I have potential in areas that I never thought about. By listening to the intuitive part of me that knew what was right, I was able to move forward to a better place in my career as well as life.

Currently I’m researching grad school possibilities which will open more doors in organizations that I would like to join. I have many opportunities unfolding that I hadn’t realized I could do, but it’s all because I took a chance to make things happen. There is a very scary part of this whole process and believe me, I went into some dark places along the way but the change is well worth it. Just to know I don’t have to be tied down in a job or company that I hate and that I can do things that make me happier and find fulfilling is enough motivation to keep trying. It also gives me trust that when I do what I am more suited to that I will be taken care of. The more you trust life, the more it takes care of you.

Here are some lessons I learned from some of my indicators:

Lesson 1. From my indicator 1 I learned that if something doesn’t feel right or makes me frustrated there is probably a reason for this. Rather than trying to just go with the flow it is much more important for me to look at this and deal with the feeling of why something isn’t right. Otherwise you just bulldoze further ahead into a problem that isn’t going to solve itself.

Lesson 2. When I’m passionate about something I will do better. In a previous blog I shared a lesson that TJ in San Diego taught me. He said, “Jason you need to do what you are passionate about because you will do well with it and people will pay you for it because you are good.” I’ve learned I have far more energy to put into something I’m excited or passionate about than forcing myself to go through burnout tasks or situations.

Lesson 3. When you are lost, you need to regain your anchor or reference. It’s easy to get lost, when I didn’t stay true to the lessons I learned in college I drifted further away from myself and had to ‘reawaken’. But if you are lost you can always come back. There will be a light house for you in the form of a mentor, teacher, helper, friend or something that comes into your life to lend a hand. Find your lighthouse when you get lost!

This is obviously a gallon into a shot glass of how my career transition has gone over the last 9 months and have a nice list of teachers and mentors that have given me an assist. If you have any questions about the details or names I’d be happy to chat and share more. But for now, please listen to yourself and know that with courage you can make the change. Life is vast and certainly not limited to a box or narrow list of options. As Lt. Worf from Star Trek TNG always says, “There are always options.”

Thanks for reading and as the Japanese say, “Ganbatte!!!”

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Positive Intention

An interesting thing happened when I was getting dressed the other morning. I had an interview later in the day, after my volunteering so I wanted to dress for it early so I wouldn’t have to come back home to change. I had everything ready to go except for socks…I looked in my dresser drawers, in the hampers of laundry that needed to be put away, but still couldn’t find the dress socks I needed. As I was looking I started getting stressed and found myself mumbling over and over, “And I can’t find the socks, And I can’t find the socks.” When I caught myself doing this I realized that it was a pretty negative thing to keep repeating so I started saying aloud, “And then I found the socks, And then I found the socks.”

Kind of a strange thing to do, I know but when I did this and focused on the feeling of finding one, I was inspired to look in Jenny’s drawer and sure enough I found the missing black sock I needed for my day. Maybe I was inspired by a positive “mantra” but it makes me wonder, how many other negative things do I have playing in my head and how could I counteract that with a constructive, positive intent?

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Summer Driving

I was reading an article on Edmunds.com this evening which compared a 2010 Civic Si to a 1998 Acura Integra Type R. They tested everything from the handling to the track times and general feel for the cars. I test drove a 2007 Civic Si Sedan and it was nice. I’d consider one if I were in the market.

All this reading about fun cars brings me back to when I’d take my 2001 Celica GT through the Kettle Moraine area. Wonderfully twisty roads and some areas that are 55mph make these back roads a nice, fun ride. I loved having the windows down and the sunroof open on a warm sunny summer day. To me that was better than a convertible. Still protected but open enough to hear the wind in the leaves of the trees. There is also something enjoyable about shifting through the gears on the car, not to the limit but close to it. I really miss the summer drives…

Maybe I’ll buy a project car one of these days and be able to have a high revving four cylinder to wind through the twisties. If you’ve never heard the sound of a 2ZZ Toyota or a Honda K20 engine at 6000 RPM, there is something invigorating about it. They both have a wonderful tone and (making sure you don’t have a lousy exhaust) don’t sound like a bumblebee on an acid trip.

For now I’ll imagine and dream of what it will be like to do that again. Maybe this winter phase is making me long for summer…

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Valentines Day Tragedy

My wife and I were shopping at Target today, buying some things off the baby registry. We got home and started to put away things like wash cloths, a medi-kit and electrical outlet covers. Then I’m asked, “why did you put a package of personal lube in the cart?”

“I didn’t” was my reply (which is true but not outside the realm of something I’d do if I were being mischievous.)

We checked the receipt and found that it was not on there. I asked, “So neither of us put it in the cart and we weren’t charged for it?”

Nope, no evidence of us unconsciously buying a generic brand of the slippery stuff. For a minute we thought there was a rogue prankster that was going around, adding things to peoples’ carts anonymously. But then we found another receipt in the bag. This one had items on it from the people that were in front of us in line.

-Scott Tissue
-Puffs
-Purina Dog food
-Up and Up Lube

We realized the cashier had probably put the little box into a plastic bag and forgot to give it to the customers after they put the big items back into the cart. So the couple in front of us are going to be disappointed when they get home and realize they are missing a probably important part of their Valentine’s Day Target run.

But I ask, what would one do with that combination of items on Valentine’s Day? Hmm…

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Coming down the mountain

My recent employment history is making me think of a Zen story, let me share that first:

A man goes up the mountain, looking for the Master. After 6 months of looking he’s about to give up. He sees an old man coming down the hill, carrying a bundle of firewood on his back. He asks the old man if he is the Master.
The old man nods.
The seeker says, “What is Enlightenment?”
The old man drops the wood and says “Ahhh!”
The seeker is instantly enlightened.
Then he asks, “What comes after Enlightenment?”
The old Master bends, picks up the wood bundle, and continues down the hill.

I’ve been thinking about being out of work and I couldn’t be happier. I made a decision to leave a position I was not happy in and chose to make a new life for myself. I utilized the services of a career counselor to help draw out what I needed and find a bit more direction. I’ve been searching and applying and had to face the challenges of rejection.

For anyone who has not gone through a long term job search, I have to share there is a piece to it that I underestimated, the emotional piece. With facing rejection from employers one begins to face the depths of their self doubt. It is not pretty and let me advise, if you do face this head on, make sure you have some good support with friends, family, or professionals to lend you a hand when the going gets rough. I will share that the results are very fulfilling, once you face the dragon so to speak.

I’ve learned a lot over the last several months, about myself, about the working world, and about facing uncertainty. In a way, life is a school and the everyday is the arena in which it takes place. I’ve learned so many psychological and spiritual lessons that I am so thankful for what I’m going through. Yes, I am thanking life for putting me through this. Actually, I have to admit I did choose to bring some of this on myself.

I chose to listen to myself that I wasn’t happy. I chose to leave my position and take a chance at finding something more fulfilling. I chose to go explore these ups and downs. And I chose to draw out the gold from these experiences. And gold it is.

One thing I’ve gained is a bit more accurate intuition. And my intuition is telling me that it’s time to come down from the mountain. Ok, now let’s get a bit symbolic. My unemployment is kind of like a retreat from the world. I’ve been retreated from the world of work and learning life lessons. I’m feeling I learned what I needed to learn and it’s about time I re-enter the working world. I have a feeling I’m going to get hired on with a company soon and this is where the real challenge begins.

The lesson in the above Zen story is that one must take the wisdom that they gain and re-enter the world at some point. So I’ve learned many valuable things to help me on my life journey and the next life lesson is to apply those in daily life.

Maybe I needed that retreat, that time to learn without being numb in a job I don’t like. Maybe that’s how I had to learn these things. But I can say with certainty that I’ve gained my clarity and am ready to go in my direction. I’m so thankful of the support I have from family, friends and of course the wonderful loving help of my guardian angels. The only thing I can do is pay it forward, which is part of my goal in the coming years. Let the living begin!

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Avatar Blues

There has been so much discussion about the movie Avatar and people’s reaction to it. I saw the movie a few weeks ago and thought it was great. Yes, it cost a ton of money to make and yes it is visually stunning with all its SFX. But…it also has a great story too. I think good Sci-Fi can take a theme, write it into a new setting and more strongly illustrate its point.

I have to say I was disappointed to read an article on CNN.com about people being depressed after seeing the movie. Here is a link to the story:

Avatar Blues on CNN

I went to the forum mentioned in the article and read through many of the posts. I have some strong feelings about what is being said. It concerns me that people are feeling despair after seeing this movie. Part of me has red flags go up when Hollywood or the media tries to stir up emotion in the public. I have too many bad flashbacks to propaganda films from the 40’s…

Another feeling I have is the fact that this movie is being used as escapism by some. Escapism is only a way to continue not dealing with issues or themes in one’s life. I spent too much of my life running from things and distracting myself so I didn’t have to deal with my life challenges. There are many things in life that can be a way to escape like drugs, sexual activity, internet, fantasy stories. Once you face the issues that have been latent or avoided, brilliant changes can happen in your life.

I will say though that there is something to be said about this desire for escapism. If you look at it, maybe these feelings of despair are making people look at their life. Maybe these feelings are indicative of something. There is nothing wrong with indicators or flags that go up. I think it’s important to do something about it though. But to do this you have to look around at your life and then take an active part in it.

Here are a few ways to do this. First off, the digital effects that create the world in Avatar are stunning. But I think also stunning are the shades of green when the leaves blow in the trees during a summer wind. How many shades of green are there? You really have to look to see this but when you can, it’s amazing. For those in the northern climates, I’ve found snow to be very intriguing. When it gets very cold (below 0 degrees F) the snow isn’t as compact as when it gets closer to freeing point. But you can see the individual snowflakes when you look at them closely. If you’re lucky and have some light there is a brilliant array of colors that dances off of them.

Another amazing thing you can do in life is to study martial arts. I took classes in Shaolin Kung Fu and was in awe of some of the advanced students that had superior leg strength and agility. I knew guys that could effortlessly leap up onto those yellow cement poles in front of buildings. And the flying kicks too! I even remember getting good at windmill kicks and being able to whirl across the studio once I got better. Need something more subtle? Tai Chi classes really get you to feel the internal energy within the self. Try some QiQong breathing to ease some stress. There are many benefits to these martial arts techniques and can be quite balancing.

My point is that there are amazing things to do and get involved in. At the time I write this I am still in between jobs and have taken up volunteering. I’m very grateful for the opportunity to help some people out. A lady asked me to help her learn how to use the computer because she’s older and finds it frustrating. I’m happy to help her learn so she can type word documents or applications! I’ve learned that there is a whole world of people that need help (me included) but there are ways to connect to people and lend your abilities.

So pay attention to those feelings of uncertainty or despair! They’re telling you something! But more importantly take action. Sure, the world of Pandora from Avatar is fictional but James Cameron’s imagination is very much influenced by the cultures of this big blue marble we live on and there is so much here if you look around and jump into life. Don’t sell yourself short!!! Take control of your life and begin living! You have gifts and perspectives that nobody else has earned in life because no one has gone through the same events that you have. That is special, own it.

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Being

As I sat in meditation tonight I had a great feeling. For those of you that don’t know me very well I take time every night to sit in prayer and meditation. I find this invaluable to my well being and I actually feel out of sorts if I don’t do it every day. Anyway, let me back up to earlier feelings today.

I met with an individual at the Career Transition Center at UWM about a volunteer position. She felt that I’d be a good fit at dealing with people as they first come in, and then find out a bit about what they need. Sounds great to me actually, I’d get to deal with people, and then offer my advice to the supervisor. I’m thrilled to be able to use my skills! It was almost surreal though, I wasn’t expecting anything like this. When I left I felt this sense of serendipity (I think that’s the word). I really felt like I’m right where I am for a reason. Like I’m in the right place.

Tonight though I felt something deeper. I felt like I’m getting closer to being able to be more “me” in a career. My long term goal is to go back to school and get a graduate degree in counseling. I’m taking steps to get to this and I feel more like I’m doing the right thing. I feel like I’m really being in a very active sense. Being is one of the simplest actions yet one of the most profound. It requires one to be in touch with themselves so that they can perceive their own state. I’m amazed at how easy it is to get out of touch with that.

Once I was feeling this I focused on the positive effects that got me to this point, and then imagined the positive effects I would have on those I have not yet come in contact with. In a way it was bridging the past and future through the feeling of joy. So I sat with that a while. I really enjoyed it.

I recommend a few authors very strongly and one of them would be Dan Millman. He wrote a book entitled Everyday Enlightenment and it contains a chapter on Intuition. It really speaks well to the fact that one must be in touch with themselves, I highly recommend at least that chapter. It doesn’t need to be read in a particular order to get the meaning. I really believe that when you’re more in touch with yourself that good things will happen. The better I get at this the more good things happen.

Take some time to be with yourself and see what you feel. Get in touch with silence and see what happens. It may not be easy at first but believe me, it will be worth it. I think it’s within the Silence that the loudest truth will ring. I’m glad I can hear again

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Ability out of necessity

It’s amazing what people can do when they need to. I wanted to put a post out there to illustrate that people are much more capable than we think we are. I want to highlight a few things I’ve been able to do and also share a story I came across on Facebook.

First, I want to set the stage and talk about fear. Fear makes us think that things are impossible. As Dan Millman puts it, fear is a tissue thin barrier that portrays an illusion of how something looks. There are a few scary things I’ve done in my life that I’m pretty proud of. I’ve cracked open computers and fixed them. It’s kind of scary because if you damage the circuit board the whole thing won’t work. I’ve recently done brake jobs on both our cars. Brakes are an integral part of an automobile and if you screw it up, you don’t come to a stop! You lose control, how scary! I tackled it anyway. Recently I just replaced a dishwasher. Plumbing is kind of scary because if you don’t do it right you get constant water leaking. Scary!!! But I learned how to do compression connections and just hooked up a dishwasher. Scary!!!

But you know what? I have the ability to do these things. Part of me tackling projects like this is out of necessity. The cars needed brakes and I’m still out of a job as I write this. It will be a fraction of the cost if I just buy the parts and do the work myself instead of hiring someone to do the work for me. So guess what, I researched and tried and failed. Then tried again and succeeded. I did the same thing with the dishwasher. It took me 2 days to do a compression joint right, but I learned. And I did it.

I recently read a story on Facebook where a girl was hit by a car and trapped under a wheel. A passerby saw this happen, ran out of his car and LIFTED the other car off the girl! That is amazing! He did this because he had to. Here’s a link to the story if you want it (ignore the Ann Coulter propaganda on the right):

Story

I had a martial arts instructor teach me once that I could push my body further than I thought I could. He was right, I did some cool things in training. Later I had a Kung Fu instructor warn me that my mind could push my body further than its limits so I had to be careful of that fact. Everyone, please listen. You can do far more than you think you can. If there is a necessity, you may be able to rise to the occasion. It may be a shot of adrenaline that helps you, it may be your mind that unlocks your potential, or there may be some sort of supernatural intervention that helps you complete what you need to but understand that your ability is amazing. Try new things, don’t be afraid. Your underlying potential is spectacular and you almost won’t believe it 😉

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What does theater teach about life?

Someone just asked me this question and I answered in a message because it was too long to post on a wall. This is my VERY short answer to the question but I wanted to put this up here.

That is a great question, what does theater teach about life? There is a lot depending on how involved or deep you got. I think for simplicity sake I’ll tackle the concepts of teamwork, themes, and emotions.

One basic element in stage productions is teamwork, how to make a team come together for a common goal. The crew, actors and tech people are all on sub sets of the same team and while they perform different functions they make the whole production run. Also, there is a valuable lesson to be learned about I verses we. If one actor or director is on an ego trip and makes everyone else look bad then the production tanks. The more support the group gives each other the better the overall production goes.

Then there is the content of the shows. Some shows are creative for the sake of showcasing talent and some simply have a point to make. I just did a show this fall where the lessons of the characters were “face your fears” and “know your limits.” The famous play No Exit by Sarte teaches that one must not look to others for approval but rather one’s self. I saw a great show in Chicago called My Dinner with Amy that tackled the theist verses atheist debate and how one should actually come closer to the center. Many shows have a point to make and the authors thread that message into a (hopefully) entertaining story in such a way that it is meaningful. Even if you disagree with the point of the show it challenges one to look at the author’s viewpoint and compare it with their own.

Another side of theater teaches one about emotions. My most challenging role was this fall which required me to almost cry on stage for every performance. I’m not usually that emotional of a person but it taught me to get in touch with a more emotional side of myself to be able to deliver a performance. I’ve also had to play characters that acted far differently than I do in real life. Two years ago I had to play an unfaithful, ungrateful tennis player and chase two different girls. Not in my real life character but it taught me about other paths people take. By playing those things on stage it made me look at a differing set of ethics and morals.

To me, theater is looking at humanity. The characters, themes and talent all showcase something that people have experienced in life or would like to see happen. I think one can reflect on their own life when they see something portrayed on stage. Of course this can go as shallow or deep as you want but having been involved in theater (as an actor, stage manager and production crew) for a decade and a half I have to admit that it’s changed me for the better. Many life lessons to be learned if you are willing to look.

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Interesting Dream

Not that anyone is really going to read this yet (I don’t have any followers right now) but I’ll put it out there for future discussion. I had this very symbolic dream when I was around 10 years old and never really figured it out. If anyone has ideas about this I’d love to hear. Alright, away I go:

I seemed to have been lost and trying to find my way back home. I wasn’t sure where I was but there was a nice couple in maybe their late 30s or early 40s that decided to help me. They had this machine they were trying to use (I’m not sure what the machine did) but I realized that it was either broken or not right because I knew it would blow up if they used it. I pleaded for them to stop using it but they refused and kept turning the crank and told me that they thought it was starting to work. Everything then exploded in a huge nuclear flash…Nothing was left. All I saw then was bones and skulls piled up, everywhere. The sky was full of smoke and ash. Then on one of the piles there was a throne, made of bones. The Grim Reaper circled the throne, almost attending to it. I knew I had to take my seat there, but I had a feeling of relief. I was supposed to talk to God while I sat on this throne and as I approached it, the sky started to open up. As I sat, light shone upon me and the heavens opened up. I was consumed in light and started connecting with God. Then the dream ended.

I know this is very symbolic with bones and a throne and the Grim Reaper but I’d be curious what others thought. Thanks in advance (or retroacive thanks) for those reading and for the comments.

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Uncategorized

There’s a better way to do this

Below was a piece I wrote about two years ago. I found this in the archives and wanted to share. I like the title because it really reflects the philosophy of Richard Branson, an economic genius in my book who really gets success by a similar approach I had taken in some of my jobs. Although he is a bit more successful than I have been so far…Anyway, read on and enjoy.

There’s got to be a better way to do this!

There have been times in my life where I find myself buying something and doing hours of consumer research to find the best bang for the buck. I try to balance cost with quality and get something that’s going to fit the bill but also have a decent level of quality. Part of me thinks I should have written for Consumer Reports but that’s a different story.

During my junior year of college I found myself needing a new computer. I had a chemistry class at the time which required me to do complicated reports and my current computer was unable to handle the requirements of the programs. When I did my search for computers (this was in 2001 mind you) I hit the retailers, did some price comparisons online and even talked to one of my friends who worked for a computer company at the time. I knew what I wanted to spend but I found myself fearing that systems I was going to purchase would be horribly outdated within the next year (18 months is usually the standard but my budget didn’t allow me to plan ahead for that).

I knew what I wanted in my system (processor, motherboard capability, graphics) but couldn’t afford it. Not in the stores anyway. I decided to look online for the individual components and price out the total cost of what I wanted. Sure enough I was able to get more than what I wanted (which allowed for upgrades in the future) if I were to build my own system. The kicker is I’d have to put all the chips, drives and cables together myself. By trade I was not a PC builder and had never designed a system before. But my maven attributes kept burning underneath my skin and I found the motivation to learn this myself. With a bit of research I was able to find out how to get this all together and then install an Operating system (I got Windows 98 off of ebay). After about a month of work (full time classes only allowed me to play around with this for a little bit each day and there are always technical issues!) I had my system up and running. I think I only spent around $630.00 at the time and that was far cheaper than any of the mid-grade computers on the market. Even better was the fact that I used that system for a good 5 years before my needs outgrew the system capabilities. With a little planning and motivation I was able to get a good product and save myself quite a bit of money doing it!

The good thing about the internet is the fact that there is a lot of information available by people that are very passionate about what they do. Many of the forums set up are by enthusiasts involved in a particular hobby, product, or lifestyle. There is no way that this magnitude of information would be available by some corporation or company taking the time and resources to do so. Passion doesn’t require an expense justification.

In all honesty I’m a car guy. I love cars. I can probably tell you statistics about many of the cars on the road today that only most salesmen and mechanics would be able to pull off the top of their head. Some people memorize batting averages while I memorize engine displacement and horsepower ratings. I find cars to be amazing machines with so much potential to be both fun and practical. One of my favorite cars I’ve ever owned was a 2001 Celica GT. My wife and I had no kids at the time when I owned that car, and it seemed to be the perfect commuter car to meet my needs. It didn’t have trouble merging onto freeway traffic, had razor sharp handling and I could fit a ridiculous amount of weekend gear in the back with the seats folded down. It even got good fuel economy too! When I bought it used (3 yrs old and only 33k on it) I was getting 28mpg with combined city and freeway driving. This seemed to be the best of all worlds.

I did some reading on a couple of web forums dedicated to the Toyota Celica and discovered the world of modding cars. There were countless members who installed upgraded exhausts, air intakes, turbo and nitrous kits and many other projects to make their cars “theirs.” I discovered by doing basic air intake and exhaust system upgrades that my GT wasn’t going to gain much power. I was telling this to a Corvette owner and he encouraged me to try it anyway because many of these upgrades would produce fuel economy gains (provided you didn’t have a heavy foot).

Within an 18 month period I upgraded the exhaust header, air intake and muffler. With each upgrade I noticed the engine ran smoother and gained a little bit of efficiency. By the time I was done upgrading, my back road commute to work was yielding me 40mpg! By contrast the Toyota Prius of today averages 44. I was so satisfied that I was able to take a product I was already happy with and make it better. I’m still convinced that if I were to retune the engine management I’d be able to squeak out another couple MPG on that car. I had neither the time nor resources to do that before I traded in the car. That was the most difficult time turning over a set of keys I’ve ever had, due to the time and effort I put under the hood. It became an outlet for my passion of cars. You can’t buy that level of enthusiasm.

I guess my point is that there is always room for improvement and if you see something that can be done better, don’t be afraid to challenge it. This is how innovation works and really is only fueled by a passion for excellence. Don’t settle, don’t be afraid, just try it out. You never know what you might get.

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free hugs hugs

Free Hugs

Someone invited me today to stand on the corner of Wisconsin and Water Streets (Milwaukee) during lunch hour, holding a sign that read “free hugs” and administer to anyone that wanted them. This is certainly challenging for me as I don’t usually put myself out there like that but I decided to get out of my comfort zone and try. Honestly this reminded me of something Leo Buscaglia (author of such books as Love, Born for Love and Living Loving Learning) would have advocated.

It was fairly predictable what happened. Some were eager to get a hug, some were shy but happy I was there and about half walked by without acknowledgment. I think more than anything it was just rewarding to see people walk away happy and know that it was a meaningful part of their day. That left me with a good feeling.

It’s nice to see that there is random kindness in the world and reassuring that random kindness is appreciated. In total there were about 5 of us at the intersection (6 if you count the one guys dog) and we all probably made over 100 people very happy in that one hour. I’m being very conservative with the number 100 but that’s a wonderful idea anyway. I just wonder what impact 100 people in good moods had in the hours after?

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life lessons life story spring break story

Lessons from Spring Break in California

Below is a piece that I’ve had written for a while but figured I’d share it on here. The events took place during Spring Break 2001 and beyond. It is in some ways sad that I learned this lesson long ago and had to re-learn it 8 years later. Oh well, I guess if you don’t learn your lesson the first time you’ll have to learn it again. The story is a bit long but covers some of the transition I made in my early 20’s. Enjoy

A local actor turns a scientist the other way

In the spring of 2001 I took a trip with my friend Brian to visit San Diego. I had always wanted to go to California, it seemed so different from the Midwest lifestyle that I was accustomed to and it by reputation was far different from the New York culture I had visited six years prior. At any rate it was spring break that semester (my junior year in college) and I was going somewhere warm and not snowy.

We flew into Los Angeles, spent the day there and then drove down to San Diego. I admit L.A. was exciting. We went to Universal Studios first, this was something interesting to do and since we were there we might as well have done at least one thing touristy. It was neat because there was nothing like it that I was used to (at least in the Milwaukee Area). Multiplayer Nascar games and Hollywood artifacts provided some amusement for a few hours.

After that we drove through Chinatown on our way to Venice Beach. Again as some guy from the Midwest I had no idea what to expect. The legends just spoke of bad caricatures of Arnold Schwartzenegger and Budweiser commercials. But when we got down there it was actually musicians, actors, athletes and execs just doing their thing. I really got into the diversity. I enjoyed watching musicians and mimes do their thing (not that I’m a huge fan of mimes but I find it fascinating to watch people do what they do). I also noticed that there was a pretty diverse crowd on the beach. But more than anything because of this mixture it appeared that people were just being themselves.

After the Venice Beach excursion we ventured out on our 2 hour drive to San Diego. Now I’m a huge fan of this city simply for the fact that it’s usually sunny and 74 degrees. This is perfect for my exercise routines. I was able to jog to the San Diego Zoo from where Brian’s brother was staying. A nice 12 minute run (up hill mind you) was just enough to wake me up and get me ready for a few hours at the zoo. I highly recommend going to this zoo at some point. It’s large enough so that you’ll have plenty to do for the day but contained enough so that you won’t have to spend 3 days just to see what you want to. This is truly a world class zoo and very respectable by all means.

But by day three my friend Brian and I needed something low key to do. We decided to go to the pier, visit the beach and have a few drinks in the early afternoon. So at about one in the afternoon we stopped at a bar with a nice open front and had a few drinks (to put it lightly). Shortly after round one, a few gentlemen in their late 30’s to early 40’s stopped in and sat near us. They seemed to have a good demeanor and know several people in the place. Since we were unfamiliar they started some conversation.

Two of the guys had been pilots in the Air Force and had easily had common ground with Brian. He at the time was a flight instructor, hoping to be an airline pilot. I on the other hand was a Chemistry major with some acting experience which gave me some common ground to talk to the third guy, TJ.
TJ was a very easy person to talk to. Outgoing but not boisterous, he had lots of stories to tell and experiences to relate to. It turns out he was a local actor, also very active in his church. He told me he would do local theatre, commercials and events for his church. I was able to share with him my high school and college experiences in acting.
By round 4 (I think that’s what we were on) TJ asked me why I wanted to do what I did. I replied that I just wanted something I could get a job in and pay the bills with. In Chemistry I could get a job in the industry and be stable. But I also shared that I was not passionate about what I did and that I wished to continue doing theatre as a hobby. Sensing that I was actually at a crossroads he shared something very profound. He said this and I’ll never forget:

“You need to find what you are passionate about. I am very happy in life. I’m able to act, pay my bills and work with my church. I have what I need and I’m happy. You need to find what you’re passionate about because you will do it well. And people will pay you for it.”

Here was a guy that not only found what made him happy but found a way to incorporate it into his life. On top of all of that, he was able to make this a reality for himself, recognize that and enjoy it! I think It’s hard enough to find what you’re passionate about but to bring this idea into life is truly remarkable. I bought round 5 (or whatever we were on).

Seven months later I was in my senior year in college. I had a tough semester with Quantum Mechanics, Calculus, New Testament Studies and a Theatre Appreciation class. While this sounds balanced it was quite demanding. Quantum Mechanics was a 40 hour a week dedication and Theatre appreciation believe it or not demanded at least 30 hours a week (theatre needs to be seen, experienced and discussed and all that takes time). New Testament studies required significant attention as it was a very analytical process which also took time to research, analyze and debate. By this time I was already a double major in Chemistry and Religious Studies. My plan was still to work in the Chemistry industry and possibly go to grad school for religious studies and be an instructor at the college level.

By November of that semester I had hit a wall. I truly loved the scholarly aspect of religious studies and the theatre course had renewed my interest in the arts. But I realized I couldn’t do all of it anymore. The hard part for me is that I wasn’t doing well in my Chemistry classes and I couldn’t figure out why. A couple years earlier I had been a star student under another professor, taking on an independent study and tutoring for him and now I could barely stay afloat. What happened??

Like most of my dilemmas the answer was quite simple but I was unwilling to look at it (or admit it). I felt like I needed a time out in my life so I made a decision to take 2 days off classes and work. I spent time with myself just pondering my situation. What should I do? Should I drop some of the religion and theatre to focus on my career? Or should I drop Chemistry and focus on religious studies to be able to do well in that area? I had to seriously consider the consequences of this choice. It would be life altering. I did know that whatever I chose I’d be 2 days behind in my work so I’d better be able to make it up. It wasn’t until I took a more relaxed approach to my situation that I realized the answer had to be much simpler than I thought. In fact it was.

The thing I hadn’t done was admitted to myself that I hated what I did. I couldn’t stand waking up and going to lab. I despised having to write in a style that wasn’t the way I communicated. I was having trouble adapting to the style that I needed to in order to be successful in that world. I was so afraid of failure that I closed myself off to my true motivation for doing what I do. To be honest when I explored myself I couldn’t even figure out why I did Chemistry anymore. The only thing I came up with was that it appeared to be safe and practical as a career, but sometimes the safe way isn’t the best.

So the following day I had to go to my advisor’s office and tell him I was dropping the Chemistry major. Now this must have been a strange thing to hear from a college senior with a semester and a few weeks to go in their career that they’re going to switch gears and go from a Bachelor of Science to a Bachelor of Arts. After ten minutes of debating with me to keep the major I had said something that seemed to end the conversation. I flat out told him that I don’t have any passion for what I do in his department, but rather my passion lies in another field. I could see it in his eyes that he understood, that there was no way to convince me to stay. I got my papers signed, switched my major and I haven’t been in a lab since.

I had no idea that Rum and Cokes from a random bar in San Diego would lead me to a guy that would influence the direction I’d take my life in. For that I will be grateful to TJ, I hope he was able to affect many other people as he did me. Even more, I hope people were willing to listen to this random actor because he’s got an interesting perspective on life. I’ve had better success in my life ever since.